I found a mysterious roll of film marked DO NOT TRUST. Good thing I did, it was chock-full of frightening things guaranteed to lower one’s property value. There were suspicious looking ice cream vendors serving animals in tutus. Remember to always stay suspicious. If you encounter any of the following, contact your Neighborhood Watch immediately.
RVs, especially those frequented by teenagers, in carts with fringed tops.
Overly direct tagging.
Cars birthing large dogs.
Passive-aggressive, homemade stickers.
High Stakes Ro-Sham-Bo tournaments.
Evidence of pagan rituals featuring seafood.
Mother Nature’s angry cervix.
Mystery Photos by Jessie Wilson & James McHendry. I think.